{ 27 octobre 2005 }
“then have a seat while i take to the sky…”
two years ago today matthew, 1 of my best friends from growing up, killed himself. losing someone you care about in that way is 1 of the worst ways possible, not that there are really any good ways. however, suicide is usually out of the blue, and it leaves the people left behind with so many different emotions: pain that your loved 1 is gone, anger that s/he chose to leave, sadness that you’ll never see him/her again, grief that you might have been able to help. it’s been 2 years, and i still struggle with all of those feelings.
i try to not dwell on the sadness, but to instead remember the happy times, like when matthew and i went to prom together. he came over to see my dress a few weeks beforehand because his tie and vest just had to match. apparently it would’ve been a tragedy if we had clashed.
matthew & me before prom
tonight i went over to visit matthew’s parents. i had only seen them once briefly since matthew passed away, so it was nice to get to sit down and talk with them. we exchanged stories and laughed. one of the main reasons for my visit was that i really wanted matthew’s parents to know that there are those of us out there who still think about matthew everyday, still love him, and still miss him horribly.
and when no hope was left inside / on that starry, starry night / you took your life as lovers often do / but i could have told you, vincent / this world was never meant for one / as beautiful as you
posted at 22.54